The default Singapore wedding has a banquet at the centre of it. The default does not have to be yours. A growing number of couples now choose a ROM-only wedding, usually with a small lunch afterwards, and rarely regret it. This piece is for couples wondering whether the smaller version might be enough.
Why couples choose this
Reasons vary. Some couples are saving for an HDB resale flat and a banquet of $40,000 is a year of mortgage payments. Some have small families and find the idea of 250 guests overwhelming. Some have lived through enough banquets to know which parts they will and will not enjoy. Some simply want the day to feel quiet.
None of these reasons require defending. The ROM-only wedding is not a compromise. It is a different shape of celebration.
What you do not have to give up
Couples often assume that without a banquet there can be no real wedding. There is. You can still have a meaningful ceremony, beautifully dressed, with a photographer present. You can still have parents, siblings, closest friends in attendance. You can still have flowers, rings, vows, tears, a kiss, music as you walk away. The afternoon does not have to look like a smaller version of a hotel ballroom event. It can be its own thing.
What you actually need
A ROM-only wedding is a small operation. Done well, it needs surprisingly little.
- A solemniser. Booked through ROM. The wait list extends a few months, so book early.
- A ceremony location. ROM itself, a small chapel, Fort Canning, a meaningful spot at a hotel, or a garden where you can be solemnised under a tree. The ROM website lists licensed venues.
- Two witnesses. Usually parents or your closest pair of friends.
- Rings, attire, simple flowers. A bouquet for the bride and a buttonhole for the groom is enough.
- A photographer for two to three hours. Long enough to cover the ceremony, family photos, and a short walk together afterwards.
- A lunch venue for the guests. Twenty to forty people in a private dining room at a restaurant you love. The food matters more here than at a banquet because everyone will actually be tasting it.
That is the entire stack. No emcee, no march-in, no yum seng, no five-course menu, no door gifts, no AV vendor. The cost lands between $5,000 and $15,000 depending on how much you spend on each piece.
A sample day
For a ROM at 11 am.
- 8 am. MUA arrives at home. Hair and makeup over two hours.
- 10 am. Get dressed. A quiet half hour with whoever is in the room.
- 10:15. Car arrives. Travel to the venue.
- 10:45. Arrive. Greet your witnesses. Find your photographer.
- 11. Ceremony begins. Twenty to thirty minutes.
- 11:30. Family photos. Short walk together for couple portraits.
- 12:30. Lunch begins. Speeches if you want them, but a single toast is enough.
- 3 pm. It is done. You go home. You nap.
The whole day has the same emotional weight as a banquet morning, taken at half the speed.
A small story
A couple we drove last December did exactly this. ROM at Fort Canning under the canopy of the trees, lunch for sixteen at a small restaurant in town, then a walk together through the park afterwards. No bridesmaids, no march-in, no banquet at all. Bride wore a simple slip dress her sister had altered. Groom wore a linen suit. The photographer was a friend who had recently turned professional.
The bride told us in the car on the way home that it was the most peaceful day she could remember having. They were home by four. They watched a film that evening. The whole day had cost less than a single banquet table.
Even a smaller day deserves a thoughtful ride.
Our four-hour package was designed for exactly this shape of wedding. Morning pickup, the ceremony, photos, drop-off. Nothing more than you need.
See our pricingWhat people often worry about
Will the family be disappointed? Some will. Most of them, given a year, will not remember. The ones who do remember will mention how lovely it was.
Will it feel like a real wedding? Couples often worry beforehand and stop worrying around the time the vows begin. By the lunch, nobody is asking the question.
Will we regret not having a bigger day? A small minority do. Most do not. Couples who choose this path overwhelmingly describe it afterwards as the right call, sometimes years later.
Closing
A ROM-only wedding is not a smaller wedding. It is a different one. The hours are shorter, the guest list is closer, the budget is gentler, the photos are quieter. None of that makes the marriage less married. If the idea of a smaller day has been quietly tugging at you for months, take that seriously. It is allowed to be enough.
